Recent Entries

Entry tags:

hermenoodling

Unlearning Perfectionism Through Webmastering

Updating my Neocities between today and yesterday have been such an insightful trial in adjusting to change. I realize this in a good way of not giving up (maybe a little perfectionism can be good in this sense) what adjustments needed to be done for the HTML for the pages I have when I changed the CSS styling sheet.

I'm a lot more satisfied with what I have, but there will be more to come, perhaps tomorrow, if I consider getting my gallery done (or at least two-thirds of it). I do want to try updating my essay and reflection pages with a little icon for each. I don't know if I would just include it on the page, too, just for decoration, but we will see about that.

Otherwise, all's good on the western front, as my mom likes to say.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Entry tags:

Rethinking Creativity and Sharing

I find myself overthinking so much on whether I post enough or if something is perfect enough to show. I know I need to get over that. Also the way I overthink about how to practice my creative pursuits is a bother in itself: I ignore starting off small, but drawing this little piece today on a small sheet of toned paper...

A profile of a young Black woman with curly hair looking pensive, drawn in charcoal on toned paper.

Shiloh looking pensive here.

It had me thinking that there is a point in starting off small for the sake of my brain to focus well. In some sense, projects I've done in school were the same way. The way I managed those well was because I broke them down into smaller sections that were a part of the bigger picture. Even so, that can even apply to writing, or even iterative drawing, which I indeed miss doing in order to improve my work. I even think practicing certain steps to get used to it naturally may also help before I jump to the exciting little details I want to doctor on so bad. So, there's definitely a need to change that area of my thinking.

That actually gets me to how in my Bible study recently about the call of changing one's mind, otherwise known as repentance. The need to change one's mind when it comes to settled ways that are comfortable for us when they're detrimental to our relationship with God, other people, and ourselves. For me, my repentance should aim for more intentional practice and transparency of that, unafraid to build more of my work publicly (despite the annoying AI stuff running amuck online). If I call myself an artist, I should let that art be seen, even if there's inaccuracies (even above, I see that I could have done more shading, but alas I did not).

Maybe I should also take notes. Lay out how I see my colors. Test out different textures and media I use. I do want to use my materials a bit more broadly and put my brain to work in experimenting more freely.

So, I pray for inner change and outer change in this respect.

Current Mood: artistic

Entry tags:

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, everyone! Christos anesti! Glad to add a little drawing for the occasion. angel smiley with a halo and wings

So, today is that day where Jesus got up with all power in his hands. Also today, I was mainly working in the church kitchen making sure the breakfast biscuits were ready for people at church to feast upon for our big Easter brunch after service. I enjoyed being with everyone after some stressful weeks I've had with a health issue, but I am staying positive about it until this week is finished. Hopefully, I will see more positive results of it wearing off soon.

Otherwise, a lot of stuff has happened since my last journal: my birthday happened (that was a fun outing), my mom's birthday happened (that's when I had my emergency, but she was okay with it), I was featured in my local magazine, and I've got some opportunities here to locally help out more, so I am in need to get in touch with people a bit more...which is good! I look forward to these things.

Meanwhile, I haven't updated much to my things online. Though, I've gotten into a soap opera lately called Beyond the Gates, which I've been enjoying a good bit with my mom. I didn't think I'd get into one, but the subplots are genuinely interesting besides the whole “someone's in an affair with someone.” Rather, you see the fallout of said affairs play out with those affected by it, and the way others react to it as a community. Otherwise, my favorite subplot is that of the results of Ted's affair with Dana, also known as Leslie, and the supposed child that resulted: Eva, who now works as an assistant for Ted's wife, Nicole. As much as Eva was in on Leslie's plan to expose Ted, her heart has softened towards Ted and Nicole to not harshly expose the truth to the community when it could cost her everything...and not just her alone. Maybe I'll actually draw some fan art of Eva, since I also appreciate the makeup and styling of her clothing on the show. The actress, Ambyr Michelle, does a phenomenal job as Eva Thomas, probably does better than most of the younger actors on there.

Current Mood: contemplative

Entry tags:

The State of Social Media

One thing I find a bit unfortunate about my personality is that I can be easily distracted when I have a good intention to using something new. I get too comfortable, and before I know it, I'm hooked into that thing in all the wrong ways. Such was myself on the likes of a number of websites. Sometimes I did well in deactivating my accounts and not returning. Other cases I returned, but I didn't go crazy like I did the time before. Or better yet, the atmosphere of whom I followed changed my way of interacting with it.

Today, I deleted one account, though I won't say where. I followed a few niche interests I found fascinating or helpful, but I still became attracted to groups and communities based on the latest news, thoughts, opinions, debates, pictures, and videos that took my attention away from what I wanted to do in making meaningful connections with my art. But much of this deals not just my tendency of being distracted and knocked back off of my intentions, but the innate aspect of my human nature that wants the knowledge of good and evil like God.

Truly a dramatic conclusion, but I am not wrong. Everyone has it in one way or another, and we deal with it according to how we interact with our flesh's senses, the world around us, and what we deem morally right or wrong.

For me as a Christian, the choice of following my flesh's impulses and desires versus aligning myself with the mind of Christ is the choice of dragging in negativity or thinking on what's good, lovely, and true. This doesn't mean that a Christian cannot think about hard things. In fact, some Christians are involved in making those things in appealing to the flesh to validate our knowledge of good and evil more than it does confirming what God's Spirit has witnessed in our spirits. I see that a lot on too many types of social media influencing much of the socio-political sphere, sadly, which has degraded the witness of Jesus Christ by own brothers and sisters in the faith. Our worship of God is not just mere praise and worship in church or other places, but it is also how we carry God's name in our interactions with each other, nature, and God.

Some social media, though, can provide positive communities if we truly commit ourselves to it in lifting each other up. In the same site I gave up, I remember a trending post which helped someone not rid of their life, but they gained new ones through people who then provided online and in person support to celebrate them on a special day. So, something like that is a very lovely, good, and true thing to see, and it's reflective of the goodness of God's image we bear to love and respect each other to change our perspectives to look forward to joy. Hopefully, they gained long lasting friendships out of it! smiley thumbs up

As for me, I've begun to take on a hobby for personally processing where I am spiritually in scrapbooking/art journaling. I don't think I'd bother really sharing such publicly, but it was nice doing such just to slow down more with my reflections with God (aside from little old Dreamwidth and Neocities, which I've grown to like). Sometimes resorting to hobbies you can do with your hands (or even do such initially first) is much better than just hashing out emotions and thoughts online for some things in the end. In the meantime, I'm trying to get back into the groove of traditional art forms I miss doing for some portfolio and practice pieces.

Entry tags:

hermenoodling

Balancing Act

While I've done a lot lately with digital art, I realize that maybe I should give some more time to traditional works that I can post and share more often. I do appreciate that there are many artists who have a great handle on traditional and digital art, though they tend to lean on the digital side more, which has happened to me. With traditional art, I think it'd be wonderful to get myself back into my usual colored pencil and watercolor work. Though, part of me wants to experiment with my acrylic pens from Christmas as well as some graphite and ink pens that have been waiting on me to use them (well, more so the ink). I do remember drawing a lot with graphite pencils than anything else growing up, while using colored pencils a bit with that. In addition to that, my interest in collages and art journaling has gotten me thinking about making zines or just simply doing a bit more with mixed media work.

On top of all of that, sometimes I woefully ignored my impulse to do something traditional for a while after I'm done with a digital painting. This is making me think that I should resort to going back and forth on with these types of art to give myself a sort of mental break doing so much digital art. Reviving my interest in collages may help on the traditional end of sharpening my eye to make my digital art even better. I'll just have to take chance to see for myself soon.

Entry tags:

Opportunity and Rest

So, I'm glad to say that I've got an opportunity through a friend. I'm praying that this falls through in a good way, and I look forward to really proving myself with this. I'm also a little afraid of asking so much, but an illustrator's gotta make money, right? So, I'm trying not to overthink it.

Otherwise, I struggled trying to paint a picture I wanted to do for my Carrd page. However, I used an old picture that I updated here of an old OC, Megumi, from yeeeearrs ago. I am rather surprised how quickly I finished it in a good two days in trying a different technique from a tutorial online to use an underpainting first, which is a good sign of me adapting. Also I'm becoming very fond of using texture brushes these days, so I hope to use that more in the future for more artwork to be more expressive this way. I still feel like I don't challenge myself more with line art, so I need to work on construction and movement.

But I am glad I worked on this little piece to not make myself struggle unnecessarily on something larger. That makes me think that I could have a different approach to it when it come back to that piece. Maybe my brain needed to sleep (from me being tired) and a break from something a bit more challenging? Or I just wanted a smaller one to work with after I was finished with merwoman!Yona. a confused emoticon

Megumi, a young girl, is dressed with a veil crowned with roses and a robe with a pattern around her shoulder and wrist. She holds a small lamp that illuminates her face.

Megumi here is dressed up (cosplaying, I suppose) as one of the five wise virgins from Matthew 25. I think that parable is a very useful one to note among a lot of Christians who claim faith these days, but they aren't watchful of what the Lord will do. I pray to be watchful and have a faith of my own, which is why I won't let anyone sway me easily.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Good Medicine Way

Entry tags:

Counting Days & Applying Wisdom

Lately, reading Psalms has been a good way to not merely refresh my memory about its contents but to help me be aware of the brevity and meaningful way to spend my life. Case in point: Psalm 90, said to be a psalm of Moses.

⁹For all our days have declined in Your fury;

We have finished our years like a sigh.

¹⁰As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years,

Or if due to strength, eighty years,

Yet their pride is but labor and sorrow;

For soon it is gone and we fly away.

¹¹Who understands the power of Your anger

And Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?

¹²So teach us to number our days,

That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

I ponder a bit more at the twelfth verse than the ones before it. I struggle with living more intentionally. Ideas and plans sound great in theory, but sometimes can be tricky or scary in practice. Though, taking the time to healthily scrutinize whatever process I do, such as art, I am doing better in taking my time with it for the best results, especially through fun experimentation. Such balance between being a critic and a creative I see is such an important thing to have to be an artist of any sort. I just happen to be one that has a near 50-50 balance of my left and right brain.

One piece I'm working on for my carrd page that I am definitely putting more time I thought I would put in, I struggled to like it through its ugly phase. I''m not the most neatest person when it comes to line art or putting down flats, so that step needs some improvement for latter steps with shading and lighting to come at ease. However, tonight, it's coming around a bit better with defining the light source (which always saves my painting from being directionless). So, I come to have a stronger motive to finish it. Ain't it funny how defining the light in a work like art actually gives it guidance in the definition of the subject. Sounds like another Artist I know.

Clippy raising a little heart to hear someone from above in an old Windows 95 browser window.

Makes me think I should implement prayer a bit more in my process (which I do) but prayers of joy rather than anxious ones through the ugly phase.

Entry tags:

Satisfying Progress, Now Finished!

I'm pretty happy to share that I've gone back to a technique for shading that I used to make a really effective looking picture, mostly with better contrast than what I usually may put in an artwork (that always feels like the struggle I have). Recently, I've been working on this sketch of Yona as a merwoman from last May that I hadn't finished, and finally, I put in some time to gently paint it. I'm rather excited to get it done soon, hoping that I will use it as a commission example.

It may be a bit hard to believe I have some more to paint, but I am very happy with it so far!

Now, I'm happy to share the final result:

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: The Holy Post Podcast

Entry tags:

It's the Little Things that Count.

Finally finished this piece from last year. I'm so relieved that I really took the time to fix things that I was a little too overwhelmed about, and took those head on to get it done. Trying to be reasonably consistent in finishing some stuff from last year, though I need to take time with each part of the process instead of dancing around towards the little details I may miss.

However, I'm pretty satisfied with this piece with Teresa (red-haired, left) and Rhoda (green-hair, right) on the way to school. Teresa tends to to be more of the jokester versus Rhoda, but Rhoda has her place in their pranks and experiments together. Though, she's a bit more self-controlled.

Teresa: Are you trying to be cute for someone today?
Rhoda: ...

Teresa jokes around with her hands on her hips while annoying her friend, Rhoda, while they're walking to school in their uniforms, carrying their bookbags on their shoulders, passing by an old antique shop with three posters advertising local events in their town.

Teresa jokes around with her hands on her hips while annoying her friend, Rhoda, while they're walking to school in their uniforms, carrying their bookbags on their shoulders, passing by an old antique shop with three posters advertising local events in their town.

No comment...maybe something else is on her mind.

Current Music: The Holy Post Podcast

Entry tags:

Happy New Year!

A drawing of Johanna, a young woman dressed in a black 80s style suit with a long coat decorated with cheetah patterns inside, on cuffs, her bandanna, and the side of her pants, smiling at the viewer, holds her lavender guitar in the midst of pastel colored stars.

Happy New Year, Dreamwidth! Glad I actually finished this today, though I wasn't feeling it much last night.

I was glad to draw a new picture of Johanna, an OC who plays in a band with three other women, who happen to have names from the Evangelists, the writers of the four Gospels. I'll have to draw and share them soon.

Current Mood: hopeful

Entry tags:

Reorganizing WIPs

Lately, reorganizing my works in progress has been helping me to realize how much stuff needs to be done before I get another idea popping up in my head all of a sudden.

In the meantime, enjoy a bit of Yona & Teresa. I miss drawing in greyscale sometimes, and maybe I should do that more, especially for my speed.

Yona (a middle aged Black woman who is dressed in a clerical shirt and collar with a skirt)and Teresa (a mixed Black teenage girl in a high school uniform), who are cousins, hugging against a light orange background and white painted spots all around them, who are colored in grayscale.

Yona (a middle aged Black woman who is dressed in a clerical shirt and collar with a skirt)and Teresa (a mixed Black teenage girl in a high school uniform), who are cousins, hugging against a light orange background and white painted spots all around them, who are colored in grayscale.

Current Mood: artistic

Entry tags:

A Pleasant Guiscard

We love a peaceful gargoyle in his element, praying. I know I do. This was pretty relaxing to do, especially when I didn't work with as many layers as I thought, more so by using the various brush modes like there's different layer mods. It helped me to get in a more painterly mood for something quick like a portrait. I should resort to that more often in getting over some perfectionist tendencies. I think I can get more done this way.

Entry tags:

Reflecting on My Work Ethic

So, the last few days, I personally notice of myself that even though I have a mindset of planning versus pantsing with writing, I still see value in having some sort of structure with respect to my tendencies to be distracted for the sake of comfort.

That's where that awful cycle of beating myself up comes from. Though, there's a value to just giving that up for a time to at least focus on what's important to me. When I do focus on that, getting the results I want or even resolving things that work better for me, I am a lot more satisfied with not only the results but also my own self. I am proud of my own personal best because of the work I put into whatever project.

That's where feeling rewarded feels the best. I think that's where I need to feel like I'm striving for at times, though sometimes I romanticize it to where I am surprised if the work isn't hard or challenging enough to the perfectionist in me kicks in negatively to make me rethink what I am to do. This is also a part of that negative cycle.

Really rethinking the way I approach my work ethic to myself is more than just thinking about it, but it requires solutions to long term problems that have been lurking about my own self image. Hopefully, being mindful of how that comes across for myself and others will improve how and why I work the way I do.

Today, I'm glad I made myself "study" my visual references for my character, Stanley, a Bernese Mountain dog owned by Feivel and his wife, Edith. I never draw animals a lot, but I'm glad I took the time to try something new (and adorable) so I may be more comfortable in the future drawing this cutie in the coming days.

Stanley, a Bernese Mountain dog, sits on the ground with his hind legs relaxed and his front legs supporting him to sit up. He looks happily at the viewer.

Entry tags:

art,
hermedoodling

Sketches

Decided to pull out some recent and some past drawings that I've worked on to at least share and be consistent on here.

Maureen, looking like she's gotten a wonderful compliment.
A drawing of Maureen, wearing a bandanna on top of her neck long braids and a Christian cassock with crosses on top of the cape and the cuffs as well as a scarf around her waist, and a pair of thick boots. She's smiling with a hand on her waist and a hand behind her head.

A drawing of Maureen, wearing a bandanna on top of her neck long braids and a Christian cassock with crosses on top of the cape and the cuffs as well as a scarf around her waist, and a pair of thick boots. She's smiling with a hand on her waist and a hand behind her head.

Aziza, Hazem, and Yudit are three characters I shared with a friend of mine from years ago. They're originally in a historical fiction story about Al-Andalus (Islamic Spain), and they're of the three well known Abrahamic faiths. Aziza is a Sunni Muslim, Hazem is a Mozarabic Catholic Christian, and Yudit is Jewish with a Sephardic background. However, I put them in a very modern time period in this piece.

Aziza, a Muslim girl wearing hijab, a strawberry themed hoodie, and a skirt, is grouped with her friends, Hazem, a Christian boy holding a rosary, and Yudit, a Jewish girl who wears a Star of David necklace. The three stand in a market stall with vases propped by a suitcase and a table. There are other people in the festival at various market stalls for food with their families.

Shiloh, from a drawing I did awhile back to help me share my sketches. I'm glad I completed the background in this as I have for the one above.
Shiloh, a young woman with curly hair, sits at her table in her bedroom, filled with posters, a plant, awards, a cross on the wall, and books. She is attempting to write something with scattered supplies on her desk, looking tense.

Shiloh, a young woman with curly hair, sits at her table in her bedroom, filled with posters, a plant, awards, a cross on the wall, and books. She is attempting to write something with scattered supplies on her desk, looking tense.

Perhaps I should update my other social media and forums for sketch-related art such as these. I may update the Maureen one to add Yeva and maybe Guiscard to interact with her.

Current Mood: hopeful

Entry tags:

hermenoodling

Thinking About Revamping My Neocities Site

Due to some of my own tendencies to be distracted onto other things which I have fortunately threw away for my own skills' benefits, I was thinking to myself just now about my Neocities site. I have always wanted to have my own website since I was a kid, but I never learned how to properly code until now. Since Neocities came onto my radar, I decided to at least give it a try with that particular skill, and like any skill, I need to keep it up and also try something new.

That's also why I've given thought to revamping it. It may be a big task, though my website for now has multiple pages, but it isn't too big for now. I'll consider a template to dump some of what I have onto it, and maybe I'll get a simpler looking one so that I can intentionally decorate it more on top of doing more challenging things with it. I already have a bit of a gallery with a nice way to showcase it, but I know it'll get bigger in the future, eventually. A corner for my writings is already existing, but it would be easier if the container is larger for people to read it well. I'm a bit of a stickler for accessibility not only for myself but for others. So, I'll be on the lookout for those as I improve.

I've also been thinking about considering some hands on hobbies: sewing, gardening, and learning ASL & maybe conversational Japanese. Perhaps I'll just try to take things one thing at a time.

Current Mood: hopeful

Entry tags:

hermenoodling

Pantsing vs. Planning

Sometimes I find it difficult to admit that I have been more of a pantser when it comes to some of my creative projects. I suppose it's because I've always been taught to plan important things from life-related responsibilities to treat them in the same way.

Perhaps, creativity doesn't really do that.

Even though I'm a slightly left brained person, I see why my right brain wants to not conform to the demands of logic all of the time. I tend to feel the urge to create something immediately, though logic and sometimes fear tend to stop me from following through. However, I shouldn't let perfectionism try to stop me just because I don't do something right the first time. I should try again until I get it right because I know I can be persistent to get it right. Still sounds perfectionist of me, but it can be the good kind that leads to the result I really want. I suppose that's why it's good for a creative person to create a lot, even if everything is not good quality. It's just progress made to get to what's better in the long run.

It's something I'm just really admitting to myself that makes me most comfortable in my element as a creative person, and I'm glad that it doesn't make me feel any less than an artist that I am. There's a place for planning for people to take me seriously, and there's a place for pantsing for my creative side to not punish itself but liberate it to do as it will. After all, these sides are reflective of God, too. Even he can do a new thing out of what's already in order.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Leaving the Message Podcast

Entry tags:

hermenoodling

Small Wins

One thing I'm pretty proud of today is making 45 minutes in writing a fanfiction that I've had on my mind for a few years! Though, my perfectionist tendencies often want to insert a word here or there to "edit as I go" from a paragraph above, I think even a little achievement like this can help me try to establish this exercise as a habit. For what I'm using, I use NovelWriter which records one's time in writing the story as well as the number of words in a document. I suppose seeing a more tangible result helps on top of really thinking hard about the 5Ws & 1H alongside the senses and point of view that I felt that I mustered more effort in pushing away imposter syndrome.

It may not be the best of writing, but I want to be in touch with my inner child who can still imagine pretty hard. Though, I still need the discipline in executing something, and then having the faith to not being hard on myself in growing to do it well.

The same goes for growing and creating my artwork. It's not impossible with God if I believe. Not to mention, I shouldn't underestimate the support and love I have from others concerning my gifts and interests. Nevertheless, I do feel encouraged, even with the little I have.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: The New Evangelicals

Entry tags:

David's Youth & Mine Own

When I was in middle school, I used to draw David a bit here and there, usually as a shepherd boy. I never really drew him as a king and a soldier. Perhaps I was more so interested in David's piety and care for his sheep back then in relation to my own age at that time. I've only ever drawn David as an adult once, and that was from a mere sketch last year...

In the meantime, I've been working on some art related things, including getting some profiles on some other sites that I'll probably link onto here sometime soon. Though, I must admit I like the quietness of Dreamwidth. Social media has its changes in what people get out of it as well as how people feel emboldened from certain behaviors fueled from what we really value. As for me, I'm a bit too tired (and maybe it's me just being grown and Christian) that I choose my battles carefully in the form of not interacting with folks with bad intentions, period. The battle is not mine; it's the Lord's. Don't try me because I haven't been saved all my life. Try Jesus instead. Though, trying him may result in being transformed, and that's why some are afraid of doing so.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Entry tags:

After the Storm

Hi, all (or at least anyone who may stumble here)!

A lot has happened in October, though I hadn't bothered to report.

I was at my cousin's home up north helping her out in cleaning her house. Spending time with her after a few years of my last visit with her was wonderful. I'm glad I spent my time well with her (and of course, my mom). It was a bit of a mission to help her out from the beginning, though we made time for other relatives to visit and spend time.

Otherwise, in late September, I was affected by Hurricane Helene. That was something else to behold, and she was rather intense! Fortunately, I didn't have to go through a power outage for too long. My brothers were encouraging, though they were afar.

In the meantime, I've been brainstorming pretty long and hard about many of my stories, making all of them interconnected. It's been pretty fun playing around with the idea of this character knowing that character, and it also narrows down the potentially bigger casts for some stories. Part of this change is due to my research about not just Christianity itself, but also fringe and cultic movements coming from the misuse and abuse of Christian ideas and doctrines. From things like the Message, Gnosticism, the Latter Rain/Dominionism/Seven Mountain Mandate, Traditional Catholicism, legalistic Reformed traditions, and more, there's so much I never realized as a mere National Baptist Christian with Episcopal tastes that certain Christian movements and cults have a lot more connections than I would ever assume or think affecting people. Thing is, how can I show through my own mere work that Jesus is still legitimately worth following? That's something I still need to pray over as I write.

I'm also rethinking a bit of my art, to maybe share more monochromatic sketches that wouldn't have to have too much effort into painting it a bit more polished, I suppose. I do think speeding up the pace is important for growth as an artist just as much as gradually learning something as well. I draw a lot more than I share, too. Sometimes, I'm a bit afraid of looking rather repetitive with my work and being deemed uninteresting. A lot of artists also tend to draw some things that seem a bit sinister to me (even if it's not intentional), so little old me with the Christian themed work always looks like the odd one out. I do have a bit of room for more edgier ideas within a Christian framework, so perhaps I should sketch and share those things sometime soon.

Perhaps I do need to make a schedule and deadlines to stick to...after all, I did pretty well in school with those.

Current Music: Leaving the Message Podcast

Entry tags:

The Spirit Upon & Within

A little drawing of Maureen, Guiscard the gargoyle, and the Holy Spirit. I learned recently the difference between the Spirit of God upon someone versus within someone concerning gifts and fruit, but I wanted to show the Maureen has both and the communion that results in what God is about between believers.

One reason why I thought of this is because of how there can be some type of pride with some Christians believing they are accepted because of the gifts of the Spirit showing signs and wonders, yet some people are lacking in the fruit from not taking care of their relationship with the Lord. It makes me think a bit more intentionally about myself in relating to God in welcoming and acknowledging him more in everyday tasks.

Maureen, a young black woman, leans on Guiscard, a winged gargoyle with ram horns and large winged ears, who sees the presence of the Holy Spirit as a fiery dove above Maureen's head..

Maureen, a young black woman, leans on Guiscard, a winged gargoyle with ram horns and large winged ears, who sees the presence of the Holy Spirit as a fiery dove above Maureen's head..