Growth in Patience

 So, there's a new year coming around that will trigger everyone into “new year, new me” mode. I don't think I'm necessarily exempt from that mindset, yet as I was reading from one E.A. Everdell online, you don't have to start at the new year to do that new thing or habit. You can start now. One thing that comes to mind with myself and my personal goals is practicing patience to achieve those goals. I think I am generally good at being patient when it comes to waiting in line or other events, though with the way technology has improved, I know have gotten used to the quick nature of a technological response to me initiating something with a click or a tap. However, as with many other devices aside from that awful artificial intelligence that wants to invade our privacy, humans must take the reigns to control these things well not merely for leisure but also for creativity, connection, power, and understanding.

 

How that looks for me is in the form of how I want to achieve my goals and not just expecting a mere input in, something comes out type of mindset that's easy to adjust in this age. I find that going back to logging my journey to slowly achieve those things with patience. As a child, I am glad to have cultivated a sense of curiosity and learning to my advantage of being open to interacting to academic or experiential things I discover. Excitement has been the defining factor of how that curiosity moves, and I love sharing that information with people in ways that builds them up.

 

When it comes to excitement over those things I learn immediately, I do find it hard to stay motivated in giving time towards that activity. That's when I may take my time away from it until I suddenly realize how I didn't make time for it when I could have. Excitement dies down pretty easily alongside motivation if there isn't a clear, effective path to the goal. It certainly does when bumping into a learning curve on what's to be learned from that skill bends the brain more than it'd wants. So, discipline following through a plan is good, but it seems like for me, it needs to be recorded and tracked to help me see my progress. Seeing how patient I can be in this way can help me see how this is growing over time rather than an immediate result where I take that journey for granted.

 

Another reason to slow down and be patient with learning something new is how my brain has changed a lot with Long Covid. It'll be about four years since I've had the post-viral illness, and I can unfortunately feel those neurological changes in how I subtly move, talk, or think. Those viral remnants really make me think slower about what I'm to say, and it is very strange to wonder what I have to say on the spot sometimes if I end up forgetting a word. Otherwise, I know I need patience in this regard to retrain my brain as I continue recovering from the damage of what remains. Being gentle with myself is key if I give myself time to gain the skills I want to execute.

 

From that, I see that even before I got sick, I found that practice and patience go hand in hand. When my perfectionist tendencies arise to restrict my way of thinking how I approach a creative project, I find that it's hard to complete it. Conversely, when I reframe my mind to think of my project as an experiment, the former restrictions disappear. The ease of how I work on the project comes so naturally afterward alongside the patience. I do think even reframing my relationship with perfectionism and deadlines in reminding me that practice, patience, and experimenting is the best way to approach my problems to let my creativity thrive the best. When it does, so does my confidence! So, I do think that wise reframing makes a huge difference in how I utilize patience this way.

 

What I look forward to is renewing my mind that respects my ability and humanity than to push it over the edge of overachievement of a goal that's not reasonable for me. With a discipline that helps me to track my progress, I can and will get through what I want to obtain in a reasonable and timely manner that I can truly believe and see rather than letting excitement run my motivation alone. I know I am not the same before the onset of Long Covid, so how my brain looks at my situation and resources is not like how I used to think. But this provides me a different approach of simplicity and gentleness I didn't lend to myself before. Though, the idea of patience powering me through practice and experimentation over time is a better way to still go above and beyond without beating myself up into a twisted obedience against the clock.