Reframing My Mindset
Monday, June 3rd, 2024 16:26![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hermenoodleAs time has passed, I've definitely made more substantial progress on The Secret Things as of late for drawing characters and filling in more on its plot. I'm feeling a lot more confident about creating more and sharing what I have in the near future while also being open to changing things as I go. So, the optimism is there!
Meanwhile, I need to do some sprucing up on my Neocities page. It's been a few weeks! I have been creating a good bit of artwork lately, even if they're just sketches, and I need to at least share a little something and not feed the perfectionist side of me that wants only polished works present on the gallery page. I'll also need to start sharing some writings...though they need to be edited and revised if not written.
On another end, there are some life related things that have weighed me down a bit. A loved one I know may not make it due to a heart issue and a stroke. She's in her 50s. While she's not a relative, she's a family friend who looked after me as a child. I'm very sad to think that the incompetence of two hospitals, one being a big name associated with an Ivy League school, will fail in bringing her back to a healthier state of life than her being on machines for now. I want to pray that she makes it by a miracle, if anything. Even if she does not, I pray that God takes care of her in eternity.
Another thing is how I feel like I've disappointed myself concerning social media use. I tend to consume so much in merely viewing media, not so much contributing to conversations or sharing content myself that there's a real need to tone down distractions or possibly leaving it entirely. I've chosen to tone down distractions by just revamping a blog of mine. In my heart, I do desire meaningful communication. However, my desire of merely consuming knowledge or commentary by others to end up not doing anything with it creatively or constructively isn't exercising wisdom or skill on my part. Though, I must admit, that I find it hard to find community among other artists, interests, or even fandoms these days. I don't seem to fit in, especially when my faith is a defining part of who I am. Sadly, as I am discerning ministry, it's too easy to find many people in my generation and others that are repulsed by religion, especially mine. There are a lot of reasons why someone could leave a faith tradition, though many of those who are nonreligious don't make a good case, historically and morally, why the world would be a better place without religion. After all, if nonreligious people can control governments and places of worship with its own standards now and back then, then such control isn't a feature for religion in itself. It's an aspect of humanity's moral failing in our use of knowledge of good and evil.
Otherwise, recognizing these problems in my life are not just a sign for me to change, but it feels like a sign of me getting older. Some drama that I see from some social media sites just make me tired and disgusted at the self-righteousness people have. There's nothing wrong about being passionate for a cause; it's another thing to say you support one thing and say another thing that subtly usurps the first idea or doesn't make sense alongside with it. I just fail with the words to express why this doesn't line up in a consistency that's actually admirable, a justice to validly pursue. It seems like some people don't see why certain opinions don't line up with others because they agree with it unquestionably and don't think of the implications. I almost see it being more or less performative activism at this point. If anything, Jesus' admonition of not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing is becoming a lot more meaningful to me in the midst of how people put their beliefs online versus what they do in person and not to take it seriously. Unfortunately, my brain takes things to heart too well, so detoxing exposure of this is needed for me. That makes me think I should also make some more time for Dreamwidth, which feels nice in the lack of said environment.Another thing is how I feel like I've disappointed myself concerning social media use. I tend to consume so much in merely viewing media, not so much contributing to conversations or sharing content myself that there's a real need to tone down distractions or possibly leaving it entirely. I've chosen to tone down distractions by just revamping a blog of mine. In my heart, I do desire meaningful communication. However, my desire of merely consuming knowledge or commentary by others to end up not doing anything with it creatively or constructively isn't exercising wisdom or skill on my part. Though, I must admit, that I find it hard to find community among other artists, interests, or even fandoms these days. I don't seem to fit in, especially when my faith is a defining part of who I am. Sadly, as I am discerning ministry, it's too easy to find many people in my generation and others that are repulsed by religion, especially mine. There are a lot of reasons why someone could leave a faith tradition, though many of those who are nonreligious don't make a good case, historically and morally, why the world would be a better place without religion. After all, if nonreligious people can control governments and places of worship with its own standards now and back then, then such control isn't a feature for religion in itself. It's an aspect of humanity's moral failing in our use of knowledge of good and evil.
Meanwhile, I need to do some sprucing up on my Neocities page. It's been a few weeks! I have been creating a good bit of artwork lately, even if they're just sketches, and I need to at least share a little something and not feed the perfectionist side of me that wants only polished works present on the gallery page. I'll also need to start sharing some writings...though they need to be edited and revised if not written.
