Rooting Out the Rot is Hard Work
Wednesday, June 19th, 2024 18:05![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hermenoodle Lately, I've discovered a lot of self-reflection of how I've grown over the years as well as picking out the things that have hindered me a lot. Attending to those things has clarified what habits need to stay and those that need to go for myself.
I find it quite powerful to really frame it that way; that I don't necessarily do it as an assignment for someone else with pressure to perform my value. In the coming days, I hope to unlearn more than just the surface level perfectionism I've been attuned to for years, but I want to truly live in believe in the truth of m own value as a beloved child of God. Perhaps, me writing and drawing The Secret Things concerning Yona's past and how she's growing as a person would be rather therapeutic for me to process that through.
Things are getting better, slowly. God has been at work in really helping me to see that I need to be careful in addressing certain people while also seeing that he also knows my feelings and understands them well. Reminding myself that God has empathy for me in my hurt has helped as much as telling myself that I do not deserve to emotionally and mentally self abuse myself through my thoughts, which has been a problem for a long time. If God does not desire I do that, then I need to let him have his way for me to grow and treat myself better if I truly want to grow into the person I want to be and what God sees me to be as his child.
I find it quite powerful to really frame it that way; that I don't necessarily do it as an assignment for someone else with pressure to perform my value. In the coming days, I hope to unlearn more than just the surface level perfectionism I've been attuned to for years, but I want to truly live in believe in the truth of m own value as a beloved child of God. Perhaps, me writing and drawing The Secret Things concerning Yona's past and how she's growing as a person would be rather therapeutic for me to process that through.
Things are getting better, slowly. God has been at work in really helping me to see that I need to be careful in addressing certain people while also seeing that he also knows my feelings and understands them well. Reminding myself that God has empathy for me in my hurt has helped as much as telling myself that I do not deserve to emotionally and mentally self abuse myself through my thoughts, which has been a problem for a long time. If God does not desire I do that, then I need to let him have his way for me to grow and treat myself better if I truly want to grow into the person I want to be and what God sees me to be as his child.
